Be Flattered To Do vs. Flattered By Something
Be Flattered To Do vs. Flattered By Something distinguishes two directly documented complement patterns for the adjective “flattered.” Use flattered + to-infinitive for the directly documented infinitival construction; use flattered by/at + noun phrase or -ing form for the separately documented prepositional construction. The guide stays within those attested patterns and does not infer a broader rule from synonymy.
Use flattered + to-infinitive for the directly documented infinitival construction; use flattered by/at + noun phrase or -ing form for the separately documented prepositional construction.
Key details
Choose the right form
| Meaning / situation | Construction | Decision |
|---|---|---|
| pleased/honoured in relation to an invitation or action | flattered + to-infinitive | use the infinitive to present the action/opportunity |
| source of the flattering feeling | flattered by/at + noun/-ing | name the compliment, attention, or action that caused it |
Quick tests
Opportunity-or-source test
Are you presenting what someone is pleased or honoured to do, or naming what made them feel flattered?
If yes: Use “flattered to + verb” for the action/opportunity.
If no: Use “flattered by/at + noun/-ing” for the source.
Caveat: The prepositional pattern can vary with the noun phrase; stay with the directly documented uses rather than forcing one preposition everywhere.
Examples
I am flattered to be invited.
The infinitive presents the honour or opportunity.
She was flattered by the compliment.
“By” names the source of the feeling.
He was flattered at being asked for advice.
An -ing phrase can follow a documented prepositional pattern.
Further guidance
Core difference
Use flattered + to-infinitive for the directly documented infinitival construction; use flattered by/at + noun phrase or -ing form for the separately documented prepositional construction.
Style Boundary
Treat this as a comparison of directly documented complement patterns, not as a claim that every other complement is impossible. Choose the construction that matches the intended grammatical relationship.
Sources and evidence
Sources are shown with the role they play in this guide. Historical or style-sensitive claims are kept within the evidence boundary described above.
- flatter — Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary (opens in a new tab)Oxford University Press · Direct dictionary evidence in the be/feel flattered idiom for flattered + to-infinitive and flattered by/at + complement